Thursday, November 4, 2010

Where did all the bikers go?

Some days you fly like a bird.
Some days you grind like a mule.

Today I was a mule. Starting out cold head wind was pounding on me, and legs had a hard time getting into a groove. I knew my options were 1. To finish a metric dirt century, or 2. Finish a metric dirt century. Legs got into their pace, sleet and wind were flying around, and the sun went down by the time I got home.

When you think of all the riding some of us do, it just gets lost somewhere in the back of the memory as time goes on. All these rides, I suppose some day I'll be sitting in a rocking chair and think I sure pedaled all over the place. Perhaps wonder why I did that?

Yes I did see this sign, I have often seen these signs. I pedaled on through. I saw surveyor's markers like every 500 feet. After traveling a few more miles I came around a corner and saw a pick up truck driving slow with two guys in it, I figured they were measuring distances and putting the markers out. When I got about 20 feet behind the truck, it stops and two guys jump out turn around and face me. Big guys wearing well worn out Carhards, the guy on the passenger side with a full beard with no trimming and a short cigarette sticking out of his mouth, shouts at me, looking angry.

"Can't you read the F%#@'n SIGN?!!?!?!

Before I could respond the driver spits out a wad of Beech-Nut,

wipes his chin with the back of his hand like it was one move, spit and wipe, and tries to say in terrible Spanish acting like he was fluently bilingual, "no speaketh English?"

My typical reaction to something like this is to throw all wisdom out the window and fire right back, I pause for a moment mostly out of shock,

They both laugh simultaneously like they are two vocal chords attached to one brain. These are a couple of country boys, I swear I could hear somebody playing Dueling Banjos in the background, and I wondered how I looked in full length spandex pants and funny shoes to these boys.

I am about ready to say something like "Do you both wanna kiss my @$$?" I don't know how to keep my mouth shut.

Now their laugh turns to smiles, and I hear "just kidding" "we are going to be dumping gravel here next week and getting rid of these ruts for ya bud."

So we small talk for a few and then they tell me I am cutting into their beer time and we part.

#89 today, chipping away, one by one.

Oh one last thing, bikers remember to check your shorts, I was riding with a hole in the back of my shorts I wore clean through, and didn't even know it. Geeesh!!!! Good thing I caught it, I was headed for a full blow out. There would be severe psychological damage to anyone with a rear view shot.

I need some sleep, my legs feel spent, I hope they can soak up some energy, and I can ride 'another' tomorrow. I have the afternoon off if I elect. Over and out, and good dreams, unless your now just getting up, then have a good day.



tainterturtles said...

Thanks for the warning about those shorts. Good thing you didn't take a pic wearing the darn things. Remember last time? Your sis chewed your butt out for posting that photo. I think Harry Legge's was even shocked!

dawn marie giegerich said...

Sweet ride, bro. So proud.

Dan O said...

Funny story - good thing you hesitated with the smart ass comeback. Might have had a not so happy ending with laughs all around.

I've done the same thing with shorts. My fav pair are wearing thin in spots. Unless I dump 'em soon - ass show for all. That would be ugly.

As usual - always dig your blog.

Amy said...

Oh Dave. Please get new shorts! You and Tom are scaring us all with these close calls!
You are easily going to make the 100 goal I think. Amazing. A metric century on gravel two times a week on average. That's a lot of gravel.

Bill G said...

Dave you are crazy and that was a great story!!!

Have fun this weekend with the famliy!

mrbill said...

Rednecks, Dueling Banjos and a hole in your shorts, um, glad you made it home safe and in one piece. Hope the cold is better, have a great weekend.

Steph said...

That was a funny story. I was thinking "Oooh...oooh! Fight!!"

Glad they were just givin ya shit.

Wonder if they saw your shorts hole? heheheh